Drama

Not the class you take in school. I mean the real thing.

In the last few years, I've had to cut ties with a couple of drama-llamas. Either they couldn't accept that differing opinions weren't personal attacks or else they couldn't handle the very idea that someone might not like them.

And no, I'm not going to give names or descriptions or even point at who the problems are. That would be unfair and would probably lead to more drama which - as you may have noticed - I dislike intensely.

If I hate being around drama, I hate being in the midst of it even more. When drama appears, feelings get hurt. And I hate feelings. Maybe I should write about those sometime.

The worst thing about drama? Sometimes you need to use it to get rid of the drama-llamas, because they don't understand plain English.

Here is some quick conversation samples I've had with Llamas a while back (I've edited them for clarity, so don't expect a blow-for-blow word-for-word account):

"I don't want to date your sister-in-law. I don't find her attractive."
"Maybe we can discuss then when you're ready to date again." [This was about two weeks before I started dating the woman who is now my wife.]
"My health is fine. I just don't like her. Or, for that matter, you."
"We'll discuss this once your mental health is improved."

Because - apparently - not being attracted to a specific woman is a sign of mental illness or of being ill-prepared to date. And disliking people is also a sign of mental illness.

"I don't like you. I never have. And you were well aware of that - you even discussed it with [mutual friend] a while ago."
"I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what I have done to cause you not to like me. Why don't you like me? I'm perfect! I'm a amazing! I'm a precious butterfly! *SOB* *SOB* *SOB* I was even a good hostess when you visited my husband who is a dear friend of yours! Now I'm going to call all of my friends and try to form an alliance against you, even though they're your friends, too!"

Because the solution to being disliked is to drag in every mutual friend you know. And being a good hostess is the key to being liked.

Did I say that was the worst? I lied. The worst thing about drama is being one of those friends who is not involved in a situation and is trying not to be involved in the situation, but who is inevitably sucked in and attacked by one of the participants.

Yeah. I dislike drama. And drama-llamas.