Friday, October 29, 2010

Uncontrolled Children

I don't mind kids. Really, I don't. Provided said children have even a small shred of manners or discipline.

But please don't let your demonspawn run loose unmonitored and unrestricted at all times.

I know that children need to play. I know that they need to have time to run around and shriek and have a good time. I'm okay with that, provided that the children ALSO learn that there is a time to be quiet and know to use inside voices.

I saw something a few weeks ago about how the role of children has changed over the years. It was fascinating. Apparently children who grow up with chores to do tend to turn out better-adjusted to life than children who can just sit around doing nothing.

If you don't at least make the attempt to control your children, don't expect me over for dinner.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Poorly-Edited Books

I love my Kindle. Don't get me wrong. I think that it (and similar devices) are the future of the publishing industry.

That said, however, the fact that any monkey with a keyboard can publish a book for the Kindle (allow me to plug my other blog, which is available on Kindle) has unfortunately hurt its potential.

Take, for example, Starstrikers. It includes such gems as:
Wending his way over dead defenders and crater holes, Sloan dove head first into the canon pit. He gave Centar a brief wave and then manned the twin-tube canon.
Of course, "Canon" is very different from "Cannon." For the record: The author used the correct word throughout most of the rest of the book.

You should not use your spell-checker instead of an editor.

I like Military Sci-Fi (MilSF). I even enjoy cheesy MilSF. This ... it was a poorly-edited collection of cliches mashed together with a helping of cheese that wanted to be gritty.

Throw the editing on top, and you have the trifecta.

When I bought the book, it was only $0.99. And it was overpriced at that. Now, to take advantage of Amazon's royalty scheme, it's gone up a bit. And it's made me wary of other self-published books that can be found in the Kindle store.

That's right, self-publishers: One badly-edited book that you had nothing to do with may have just cost you money.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sugar

Well, not SUGAR, so much as its prevalence. Seriously - look at nearly any pre-packaged food.

Ever wonder why Americans, as a group, are so fat? As any expert will tell you, the biggest problems are diet and lack of exercise. The fact that every single food we eat contains ever-increasing quantities of sugar in an ever-increasing variety of chemical combinations is probably not helping.

Even McDonald's french fries contain sugar - they're sprayed with a (sugar-containing) mixture on the way out of the factory, because it gives them that golden color that we've come to associate with "correctly fried." Burger King does the same thing. So do dozens and dozens of food-producing companies.

Again: Go read the labels. If it ends in -ose, odds are better than good it's sugar1. Sucrose and Fructose are two of the most common. And they're bad for you if you have too much - say "a little bit in every single food you consume."

It's enough to drive you out of the restaurants and into your own kitchen.

1 My friend Geoff, who is a chemist, informed me this morning that all chemicals ending in -ose are sugars. Thanks, Geoff!

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Color Orange

I vaguely remember parts of the seventies. But one unfortunate reminder keeps popping up on kitchen countertops everywhere: The color orange.

I'm not fond of any shade of the color, but it's that bright eye-piercing hideous shade of orange that you can't get away from that I especially hate.

You know the color: It's the same one that blogger uses for its logo. And the Miami Dolphins. And ING Direct - love the service, hate the logo.

Can't we just put the seventies behind us and move on to something better?

Friday, October 1, 2010

Dogs

That's right. Dogs.

I don't like dogs.

PHIL'S NEW PUPPY

Isn't she cute? She's a min-pin mix.

In English, that means she will grow up to chew up everything you own, piddle on everything you thought you owned, and attack all of your friends in a series of misguided attempts to establish dominance.

In fact, most dogs are like this. If you're not part of their pack, then you're a threat. And if you ARE part of their pack, they want to be more important than you. They want to be the Alpha, so you need to continually remind them that you outrank them within the pack.

It involves a lot of difficult training and constant reminders that you're in charge.

In general, it's not worth the effort.