Heat As A Replacement For Flavor

When I was growing up, my dad nearly always had a bottle of Tabasco sitting on the table.  It didn't matter what we were eating, it was nearly always there.  He loved the stuff. I was terrified of it for years.

Now, I'm married to a wonderful woman who happens to be Mexican.  She loves spicy food, too.

Both of them love Thai food in particular.  But I can't go to the restaurant with them, because they usually order at the four-star (or hotter) level, and I just can't eat that.

I know that spice heat has its place. I agree that spicy food can be quite tasty.

But I think that far too many restaurants (and home cooks for that matter) make food spicy to mask the fact that the flavor isn't really there.  Or just because they can.

Heat should be one component of flavor, but it shouldn't be there as a replacement for real flavor.

Every time I eat something that's beyond my spice tolerance, I have to wonder what they're trying to hide with the heat. Is it a lack of flavor? Is there something stale? Maybe something that wasn't good enough to serve by itself, but it'll be undetectable as such if you spice it up?

And I really don't like that mystery.