There are a lot of stupid people out there. It's true.
The ones I really can't stand are the ones who aren't actually stupid, but just play stupid for attention or because they think it's funny.
Or because they think that "popular" and "smart" can't belong together.
If you're smart enough to be a tabletop gamer (Role-playing, Card, and Board all count, here), you're smart enough not to use baby talk.
It's that simple.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Birthdays
I dislike birthdays - not for any religious reasons. Not because I dislike gifts.
It's because mortality is hanging over all of us, and every year, they force a reminder on us.
"Congrats! You're old!"
At the time I'm writing this, I'm 34. By the time you see it, I'll be 35.
"You didn't die! Have some cake!" (I'm not a fan of cake, either, but that's another post for another time.)
The other great thing about birthdays is the arbitrary ways we use them to divide up our lives.
"I'm 16! I can drive!"
Who chose these numbers? At 16, I wasn't mature enough to be trusted behind the wheel of a car. Not even close.
At 18, we get to vote here in the US. Great. Fine. Wonderful. I know some 30-year-olds who I'd love to remove from the voting pool. Not because I disagree with their politics - it's because I don't want someone that stupid having any influence at all over my future. I wish you had to take some sort of test to be able to vote - but the American political system is another rant for another time, too.
At 21, we can drink. This has led to a rash of "21 Runs" - people who get totally smashed on their 21st birthdays at no cost because so many bars give out a free drink to folks celebrating their 21st birthday ...
In fact, I don't see any reason to celebrate a birthday any more than I celebrate any other day.
On my birthday, I sincerely hope that none of my co-workers remember when it is so I can spend the day in peace and quiet.
It's because mortality is hanging over all of us, and every year, they force a reminder on us.
"Congrats! You're old!"
At the time I'm writing this, I'm 34. By the time you see it, I'll be 35.
"You didn't die! Have some cake!" (I'm not a fan of cake, either, but that's another post for another time.)
The other great thing about birthdays is the arbitrary ways we use them to divide up our lives.
"I'm 16! I can drive!"
Who chose these numbers? At 16, I wasn't mature enough to be trusted behind the wheel of a car. Not even close.
At 18, we get to vote here in the US. Great. Fine. Wonderful. I know some 30-year-olds who I'd love to remove from the voting pool. Not because I disagree with their politics - it's because I don't want someone that stupid having any influence at all over my future. I wish you had to take some sort of test to be able to vote - but the American political system is another rant for another time, too.
At 21, we can drink. This has led to a rash of "21 Runs" - people who get totally smashed on their 21st birthdays at no cost because so many bars give out a free drink to folks celebrating their 21st birthday ...
In fact, I don't see any reason to celebrate a birthday any more than I celebrate any other day.
On my birthday, I sincerely hope that none of my co-workers remember when it is so I can spend the day in peace and quiet.
Friday, March 11, 2011
National Mockery of Seattle When It Snows
As an experienced snow-and-ice driver, I feel that I am uniquely qualified to comment on the mockery we receive nation-wide whenever Seattle shuts down due to half an inch (or less) of snow.
Here's what those (non-local) news folks are not aware of:
1) Seattle is built on hills. Not small hills like you deal with in the Midwest, for the most part - if the Midwest had hills like Seattle, kids would use them for sledding. They're long and steep. This is not atypical of Seattle's hills.
2) Seattle's snow is usually hovering at almost exactly the freezing point. This means that, over the course of the few days we get snow, it is constantly melting and re-freezing as ice. And ice that is at 32 degrees is much more slippery than ice that is around 15 degrees.
Combining these two with the fact that most of the locals can't drive in the snow, and you get this:
How many of you remember this? Look especially at the image on that link. What you don't know about that image is this:
The bus driver was an experienced snow-and-ice driver. It's a tour bus from Eastern Washington, which resembles a slightly warmer Minnesota in the winter.
Here's what those (non-local) news folks are not aware of:
1) Seattle is built on hills. Not small hills like you deal with in the Midwest, for the most part - if the Midwest had hills like Seattle, kids would use them for sledding. They're long and steep. This is not atypical of Seattle's hills.
2) Seattle's snow is usually hovering at almost exactly the freezing point. This means that, over the course of the few days we get snow, it is constantly melting and re-freezing as ice. And ice that is at 32 degrees is much more slippery than ice that is around 15 degrees.
Combining these two with the fact that most of the locals can't drive in the snow, and you get this:
How many of you remember this? Look especially at the image on that link. What you don't know about that image is this:
The bus driver was an experienced snow-and-ice driver. It's a tour bus from Eastern Washington, which resembles a slightly warmer Minnesota in the winter.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Time-Wasters
By day, I work for a wholesaler. We sell (among other things) televisions.
One of our regular customers doesn't show up in person. Instead, they send a driver to pick their product up three times per week.
Every time he visits us, he asks us, "What do you have in a fifty?" Now, we have close to 30 models of television which are hovering around that 50" mark. "I don't want to spend more than a grand," he tells us.
So - every week - we print him a bunch of spec sheets for TV's that fit what he's looking for. And - every week - he tells us, "I just need to clear this with the Old Lady. I'll be back."
And he is right - he will be back. In two days. To ask us the same questions and get copies of the same spec sheets.
It's a complete waste of time.
We have other customers who call every week, "Do you have any more of them iPods?"
You see, we had refurbished iPods. Briefly. Over one holiday season. They sold like crazy and were then returned like crazy. So we won't be getting any more. Ever. We actually tell customers this using exactly that language. So why, exactly, are you still calling for these iPods? Are you bored? Do you just want to waste our time?
See, not all customer questions are a waste of time. That's part of why we have a customer service department - to help customers who have actual problems and questions. But our customer service team also handles order entry, invoice processing, and a whole lot of filing. The more time we spend answering your repeated questions, the more our other tasks slip, and the further behind we fall.
It's frustrating and annoying, and I strongly dislike it.
One of our regular customers doesn't show up in person. Instead, they send a driver to pick their product up three times per week.
Every time he visits us, he asks us, "What do you have in a fifty?" Now, we have close to 30 models of television which are hovering around that 50" mark. "I don't want to spend more than a grand," he tells us.
So - every week - we print him a bunch of spec sheets for TV's that fit what he's looking for. And - every week - he tells us, "I just need to clear this with the Old Lady. I'll be back."
And he is right - he will be back. In two days. To ask us the same questions and get copies of the same spec sheets.
It's a complete waste of time.
We have other customers who call every week, "Do you have any more of them iPods?"
You see, we had refurbished iPods. Briefly. Over one holiday season. They sold like crazy and were then returned like crazy. So we won't be getting any more. Ever. We actually tell customers this using exactly that language. So why, exactly, are you still calling for these iPods? Are you bored? Do you just want to waste our time?
See, not all customer questions are a waste of time. That's part of why we have a customer service department - to help customers who have actual problems and questions. But our customer service team also handles order entry, invoice processing, and a whole lot of filing. The more time we spend answering your repeated questions, the more our other tasks slip, and the further behind we fall.
It's frustrating and annoying, and I strongly dislike it.
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