Zombie Drama

No, I'm  not referring to Zombieland or The Walking Dead. Let's get that out of the way first.

Most of my friends are creative people. Actors. Writers. Gamers. It's a vast community of people who take to drama like fish take to water. I hate drama. I know I've discussed this before.  Drama is a terrible thing. It breaks friendships and divides groups into factions and "sides." And neither side is ever completely in the right.

And all-too-often, the effects of drama are permanent.

Sometimes, that's a good thing, by the way.  Sometimes, two people who blow up at each other need to just walk away from each other and then stay away from each other, because it's healthier for everyone concerned.

But the worst is when two people appear to have done that, and the drama comes back.

Seriously: Holding on to anger and hatred and pain is not healthy. Holding onto it long enough that most folks had figured it had gone away? That's dangerous.

Not that I have a ton of room to talk, here. I've got a handful of decade-old grudges. Of course, I've never buried those grudges or pretended everything was okay. I haven't hidden those grudges.  People with whom I have outwardly-directed drama know about it. 

Nothing infuriates quite like receiving an e-mail from a well-meaning third party five years after the drama that boils down to, "I think you should apologize."

Why is this so infuriating to me:

1. I don't believe in shallow or insincere apologies. If you don't regret what you said or did, why are  you apologizing?  I think that elementary school teachers have done us all a grave disservice by forcing kids to apologize to one another.  If you don't regret a thing, don't apologize for a thing. If you do regret a thing, then apologize. Through a third party if necessary. I should turn this paragraph into a full entry sometime. At the current speed at which this blog updates, watch for that update in late 2018.
2. It's been five years. Either I've moved on and adopted a "live and let live" attitude or else I'm not concealing the presence of drama. If I've moved on, then I don't care. If the drama is ongoing on my end, then I'm really not likely to apologize.
3. If someone is still in pain after five years, they need help, not an apology. In fact, if pain has been festering for half a decade, an apology isn't likely to actually help (even if one were forthcoming), because it requires contact with the other party and so may aggravate that pain.

And that's even before we get into the way so many apology requests from third parties are couched.  "I think it would be good if you would ... " "It might help if ... " "Have you considered ... " Sometimes they use the "we."  As in "is there any way we could ... "

These almost never receive positive responses from me.

The first one is the best option (other than just keeping quiet). Because the "I think" or "I feel" that precedes these makes it clear that you're talking on behalf of yourself and not acting as a puppet for another party. While you're still trying to steer my behavior, you're doing so in a way that is less blatantly manipulative.

The next two seem to suggest that I still care about the situation in question enough to dig it back up. Frankly, if it's been five years and I don't bring it up all the time, then I probably don't care enough. If we were still in the middle of the drama, these would be okay. But after the drama has been laid to rest? They're stupid.

And the "we" phrasing in that last one just pisses me off. It sounds like you are trying to speak for me, and I speak for me. If I want or need to say something, I'll say something. And, if the "we" is you and the other party I'll care even less.

So, to summarize: LET DEAD DRAMA REST.

Trying To Maintain A Regularly Weekly Schedule on More Than One Blog

You've probably noticed by now that I'm not exactly doing a great job of posting every Friday. Or, for that matter, even once per week.

I'd love to give you a good reason for it, too.  But I don't have one. I can't wake up and go to work without stumbling across a dozen or so things I dislike that I haven't written about, yet.  I have enough spare time to to write up wiki entries for a fictional version of a nearby city. For a game.  I've managed to read a fair number of the books that came back from GenCon with me, too.  I haven't been travelling, I'm done moving, and my commute is shorter than it was.

So why no updates?

It's simple: I have too many blogs active. There's this one, in which I blow off steam. There's Talking Game, which has been my primary blog for a good long while, now, and is updated weekly because I have genuine paying subscribers. There's New American Things, which updates every time Dasha encounters something new (and I'm there to see it). There's Eric Shoots Things, which I have been using to talk about photography and show off some of what I've done that I'm proud of or don't want to lose.

Only one of them has regular weekly updates.  The others are sporadic.  Because I can really only keep one steady blog at a time.

I know that Kelly over at The Airlock is going to tell me to ditch the others and focus on this one, but that's not really an option.

In fact, trying to maintain a weekly schedule here made it feel like a chore rather than a venting tool. In other words, it was causing more steam than it was venting. And that's not good.

So I'm dropping this back to a sporadic updater. Don't look for weekly updates. Just subscribe to the RSS feed or check back every few weeks.

Maybe life will choose to be extra-frustrating and I'll build up a backlog.

Lingering Con Crud

I mentioned about this time last year that I didn't like con crud very much.

It's even worse when the crud lingers to the point where you fall behind in your postings for one or more blogs because you're going home and sleeping at night instead of writing.

This year's GenCon Crud seems especially pernicious - and, even though I didn't go to PAX, I get to deal with the PAX Crud, too, because one of my co-workers went.  Meaning that I get to suffer the Con Crud from a con I didn't even attend!

And did I mention that, vendor-wise, there was some overlap between PAX and GenCon? This means that the PAX Crud may or may not include the GenCon Crud, so I may or may not be fighting a mutated version of the GenCon Crud all over again - when I'm barely recovered from the last one!

And you can ask my wife: I'm not very fun to be around when I have the Crud.

And I'm not the only person being slowed down by the Crud. One of my favorite game designers/developers recently posted that he's ill, and it's causing delays on several hotly-anticipated projects.

So I'm not the only one out there who dislikes Con Crud.

Not by a long shot.

Time Zones

My wife and I just returned home from a vacation on the East Coast.  It was a good vacation, but we're having trouble adapting to the fact that we're three hours out of sync.

We didn't struggle while we were there, because the convention basically ran 24/7, so we could set our own sleeping hours without any problems.

But, now that we're home, it's hard getting back into sync with the people around us and our normal schedules.

I understand the reason for time zones.  They make sense. Standardization helped the railroads run more accurately.

Of course, if we'd just standardized to one big time zone, then a lot of problems and confusion could have been avoided.  It'd mean that Westerns would have duels at "High two," when the sun is directly overhead.

But it would mean I don't need to re-set my clock when I visit the East Coast. And it'd mean that I don't have to do math to figure out if my flight from Indianapolis is one or two hours long.

And, yes, it's mean that my shift at work would be from five until eleven - but I can handle that.

And I know: It wouldn't fix the jet lag issue.

But I really hate the way things work now.

Unannounced Returns from Hiatus

I follow a lot of blogs.  Too many, in fact. Eventually, I'll need to do something about that.

But, from time to time, one or more of them will go on hiatus.  Maybe the author is burned out or getting married or moving or something.

I understand that Hiatus Happens.  People need that time.  I don't like it, but I understand.  And most authors are good about giving you an idea of when they'll be returning from that hiatus.

But occasionally, I'll visit a webcomic that I'd missed, and I'll discover that they're back from hiatus. And have been for several weeks.  So I need to search the archives and figure out when they returned and start reading from there ...

Some blogs (and webcomics) have really poorly-organized archives, making this an exercise in frustration.

It's especially annoying when it's one of those rare websites that doesn't have an RSS feed that I can follow - following RSS feeds means I don't need to go to your site to learn when you've updated. They're a huge time-saver and make life much easier for your fans.

There are few things online as annoying as looking through poorly-organized archives trying to find the start point for the hiatus so that you can get caught up without spoilers.

NBC's Coverage of the Olympic Games

In recent weeks, I've been watching the Olympic Games.  Why not? They only happen every four two years.  Well ... each event is every four years. But there are Olympic Games every two.

I'm probably the only person out there who will say, "I don't mind the opening ceremonies being tape-delayed in the US."  Because I don't.  It meant I could watch them at the same times as my friends and family.  But I do think that a live online stream would have been nice.

I also think NBC should have given us an alternate audio track.  Seriously.  At times, I thought I was watching Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, with all the ridiculous inane commentary we have come to expect, wherein they tell us what we can plainly see. The worst example of this was the Voldemort puppet.  It appeared (which was awesome). Then it shot sparks from its wand (again: more awesome).  Ten seconds later, I heard, "And there is a 100-foot-tall Voldemort puppet. Its wand can even fire!"  Because, you know, I hadn't been watching.

The worst of it is, all of their opening ceremony gaffes could have been easily done away with.  Seriously.  NBC has about sixteen stations (NBC, CNBC, NBCSports, Bravo ... ). How hard would it have been to put Olympics Opening Ceremonies For Dummies on NBC (like they did), and then given us a version without commentary on one of the other stations?  Seriously.

I know they can do "without commentary."  I've been watching Fencing via their website. Live.  And yes: that does mean I've been up at 2 and 2:20 AM. And it's worth noting that some commentary would be welcome for some events.  I used to fence, years ago, but I've forgotten so very much. Like many of the right-of-way rules for foil and saber fencing.  A refresher would not go awry.

The tape delay also allowed them to insert commercials. Again: I'm okay with it.  I understand and acknowledge that NBC has to pay their bills.

One of my co-workers is irate about the online coverage. He doesn't have TV at home, so he's locked out of watching online without using a proxy to watch the BBC feed.  I have a number of friends who have cut the cords are are watching TV exclusively via Hulu or other (legal) online methods.  I even have friends who watch TV over-the-air.  But if you won't have a cable (or satellite) provider, you can't watch online.

Also of note: if they plan to air something on television later, you can watch it live online, but then you can't watch the replay until after it's aired.  If I want to re-watch this morning's fencing matches, I can. If I want to re-watch this morning's basketball game, I can't.  Not that I'm likely to watch a basketball game in the first place.

And I keep stories like this one, where NBC manages to ruin any sort of surprise for an event bare moments before it airs.  Very much a product of tape delay.

NBC, by the way, has announced that their ratings are so good that they won't be changing much (if anything) for next time.  To which I might quietly suggest that, if it were the only thing available, I'd eat at Taco Bell. Maybe NBC should take a look at a few of their critics - #NBCFail has been trending off-and-on over in Twitter-land since the opening ceremonies.

Their coverage is bad enough that even journalists in other countries have noticed and spoken up.

So yes. It's that bad. And it's likely to get worse.

Inexplicably Slow Service

We're finally done moving, so the next step is - of course - finding all the little hole-in-the-wall restaurants and eateries in our neck of the woods.  So we've been dining out a fair amount.

We went to a place the other night that was ... well, the food was good, but not spectacular.  But the service ... it was really something else.  And not in a good way, either.

When we got there, we seated ourselves after a moment or two of figuring out if we should do so (there were no signs).  Nearly five minutes later, our server appeared with menus in hand, got our drink orders, and vanished.

I should note: It wasn't busy.  There were only two or three occupied tables in the dining area (including us), and a small handful of folks in the bar.  There were a few more people playing pool, too. And I saw at least three staffers (one of whom was keeping bar), so there was not a drastic shortage of staff on hand, either.

We checked out the menu, and then started chatting. I don't know how long it was before our server approached us again, but it was at least another five minutes.  Had it been a particularly deep or unusual menu, I could understand that - but it was neither. It was straightforward bar food (oddly lacking in onion rings) and sandwiches, with one or two house special items which required a moment of reading.

She dropped off our drinks, said, "I'll be right back," and disappeared again.

I should point out: we were sitting, menus closed in front of us, chatting with each other.  It was clear we were ready to order.

We (eventually) ordered without incident, and our appetizer arrived fairly quickly.  A friend had recommended the nachos here, so we had to try them - they were not bad. Not stellar, but not bad.

When we finished the nachos, it was another wait for our entrees. When they arrived, the food was decent.  The server was pleasant when she felt like wandering past the table, and she did refill my iced tea. Eventually. When she wasn't leaning against the bar and chatting with the bartender.

Once dinner was done, we enjoyed another wait for our check. "Enjoyed" is not quite the right word for it. "Endured" might be better. She also didn't try to sell us on dessert - she just dropped the check and vanished again. But that's neither here nor there.

Once we had our check, it was another wait for her to come and collect the payment.

We should have been in and out in about forty minutes. Maybe forty-five.  As it is, it was close to an hour and a half before we were done. With no reason for the delay.

We won't be back any time soon.